Most people like dating on their own terms, and would rather not listen to some arbitrary, imaginary rules written all over the internet. However, while that’s a completely legitimate way of thinking, it’s always a good idea to at least read about other people’s dating experiences in order to get a bit more familiar with the dos and don’ts.
One of the most controversial things in the dating world is the never-ending debate over whether you should be dating a separated man who won’t divorce his lawful wife. What could be the consequences of such a relationship? Is it hard to put jealousy aside? Why isn’t he ready to make a commitment?
Join us on this journey while we look for answers to the aforementioned questions, and you may end up learning something new, or better yet, end up finding the right answers to some of the questions you personally might be struggling to answer yourself.
The Unwritten Rules of Dating a Separated Man
Before we dive deeper into the subject, keep in mind that these are intended to be somewhat vague guidelines rather than hard written rules. Ultimately, you should do whatever you feel is best for you personally, and you should build your relationships based on your heart’s desire rather than relying on other people’s experiences.
With that being said, here are some of the most notable things you should pay attention to:
The Reason Behind the Divorce
The first thing you should figure out is the main reason behind his divorce. Was he Was he cheating? Had he had enough? Was he abusive? These are only some of the questions you ought to be asking him as soon as you find out about his unwillingness to sign the divorce papers.
You should also keep in mind that separated does not mean divorced and that he still has legal commitments to his lawful wife. This can sometimes be quite a tricky obstacle, and it’s not always easy to ignore it. Another thing you should ask him is whether his wife knows that he’s currently dating someone. You don’t want to find yourself in the middle of a problem that you didn’t cause, and you especially don’t want to be the one who’s experiencing the ramifications of a relationship that clearly ended badly.
Put Jealousy Aside
No matter how tough or tolerant you think you are; there will come a moment when you simply won’t be able to suppress your innate jealousy. You shouldn’t be too worried about it as it’s a perfectly natural human reaction, but you should learn how to cope with it in a way that doesn’t jeopardize your relationship.
In other words, it’s perfectly fine to have a healthy dose of jealousy deep inside your heart but don’t let it control your feelings or actions. Once your partner starts sensing something is wrong, it’s only going to escalate the situation, and definitely not in a good way. Dating a married man who’s separated is definitely a challenge, but it’s sometimes more challenging to control your own feelings and actions, so make sure to keep that part of your emotions under control.
Dating a Married Man With Children
When children are a part of the whole situation, it becomes orders of magnitude harder to cope with the accompanying nuisances of a recent separation. He will have to converse with his wife on a regular basis and visit his children probably very often. This scenario tends to put some pressure on his current relationship, and it’s important to remember that he’s probably not taking the whole situation lightly.
In other words, you should be as tolerant as you possibly can be. As long as you don’t put more pressure on him than he is already under, your relationship should be fine.
It’s Good to Look for Answers
Now, while you shouldn’t be pushy about it, you should definitely look for some answers to the most important questions. In case you notice that he’s avoiding giving a concrete answer, that might be a sign of you being his rebound. A lot of men who have gone through a recent separation are still confused about their feelings and emotions. Some of them make impulsive decisions and often regret them later. Sadly, the women who find themselves in the middle of that scenario are the ones who suffer the most.
So, try not to be a constant nuisance, but then again, don’t be too passive either. Finding the right balance between asking questions and letting things slide is probably one of the hardest things to do, but it’s also one of the best things you can do in order to keep your emotions at bay and avoid any potential confrontations.
As Long as You Both Act Like Grownups It Should be Fine
As we’ve mentioned, there aren’t any strict rules you are obliged to follow blindly. As long as both of you act like adults and try to communicate with each other, your relationship should be fine. It goes without saying that you shouldn’t keep any secrets from him, and in fact, you should demand the same from him. Honesty is the sole foundation of every successful relationship, and yours won’t be an exception either. As long as you both learn that sharing bad as well as good experiences is inevitable, and actually recommended in such relationships, his divorce won’t matter and he will deal with it probably much sooner than you may think.
If you’d like to know more about relationships, marriage, sex, and other closely related subjects, don’t hesitate to read some of our other articles! We aim to offer useful guidelines to our readers so that you know what to expect in certain life scenarios.