Going through a divorce can be quite a stressful experience, especially for people who have children and a lot of marital property. While getting a divorce is nothing unusual in these modern times, it’s still a process that can lead to depression and serious psychological problems.
On top of that, many people find it hard to start dating again after a divorce, and that’s why it is of utmost importance for you to read this article and find a couple of good tips and tricks that can help you overcome anxiety and predicaments of post-divorce dating.
Here are some tips and tricks that might help you get over the initial shock and give you a better idea of how to start dating again after divorce:
Wait for the Finalization of the Process
A lot of people make the common mistake of going into a new relationship while their divorce process is still ongoing. Even though there is no magical time frame you ought to follow, we would recommend waiting for the process to be over and then waiting for at least a couple of months before venturing into new waters.
This is, of course, a very subjective matter, but if we were to judge according to a couple of studies, the best course of action is to stay single at least while the process is underway. Once it’s over, we would recommend “healing” for at least a couple of months before you get back in the game.
Don’t Hide Your Past
Many recent divorcees tend to lie about their past, or even worse, about (not) having kids as if that’s something that’s going to alleviate the process of finding a new partner. Needless to say, honesty is something your potential partner will definitely appreciate, admire, and value highly.
Furthermore, you want to find an individual who shares the same or similar values as you, and you certainly won’t achieve that by blatantly lying about your past. Find someone who likes you the way you are rather than finding someone who will be attracted by something you wish you were.
Venture Into Online Dating
Whether you’re “old-school” or not, online dating is definitely something you should check out and become a part of. It’s one of the easiest ways to find a partner, and more importantly – find new friends with the same or similar interests.
There are hundreds if not thousands of online dating platforms, so there is no need to worry about the shortage of options. Even if you’re not a huge fan of online dating, don’t hesitate to give it a go as you have virtually nothing to lose. Online dating after divorce is a fun and exciting thing, but be sure you’re familiar with scams that are plaguing this industry.
Make Sure You Have No Feelings for Your Ex
This is one of the most common problems many recent divorcees fall victim to. Even though you might think you’re over your ex, it’s often not the case, especially after a long marriage. Living with another person means you’re sharing both good and bad moments in your life, and that’s something that stays engraved in your memory during your whole life.
While many people might think they are over it, they subconsciously still aren’t. This is more problematic than it seems at first glance because it can cause trust issues with your new partner, and that’s something you definitely don’t want after a fresh divorce.
Consult a Therapist Before You Start Dating Again
Even though therapy is kind of taboo in people’s minds, it’s definitely something you ought to go through, especially if you had a tough divorce. Many people consider it hard to find new love after divorce, and it’s often true, but it’s much easier to venture into such endeavors fresh and prepared rather than diving in headfirst.
A good therapist will always be able to evaluate your current emotional and mental condition and offer advice accordingly. Furthermore, they will help you create a new foundation which will help you battle against old habits and problems.
If You Have Children Be Honest With Them
Hiding the fact that you’re dating someone from your kids is probably the worst thing you can do. It will not only cause serious issues sooner or later, but it will also shake both the credibility and authority you have when your kids are in question.
This also applies to your new partner. Don’t hide the fact that you have children from them, and whatever you do, don’t be embarrassed to introduce your kids to your new potential partner. It doesn’t matter how well they get along as long as you’re honest and sincere with your intentions.
Trust Your Instincts
Your instincts are probably the best thing to rely on when it comes to the question of when to start dating after a divorce. The idea behind this is pretty simple – you and only you know when is the best moment to start dating again. Even if your therapist or friends tell you that you’re ready, always trust your instincts, and you should be fine.
Final Thoughts on Dating After Divorce
Rather than asking yourself how to start dating after a divorce, ask yourself whether you’re ready for such a huge change. Many people struggle to determine their own mental state, and that’s why most divorcees find their first few new dates pretty underwhelming, or even worse – they get cold feet and don’t show up.
Going through a divorce and dating again is a challenging process, but it’s certainly not an insurmountable obstacle. As long as you’re honest with yourself and others, you’ll find a way to go through it smoothly.
If you’d like to read more about love, marriages, and similar subjects, don’t hesitate to read our other articles! We are here to bring these things closer to you, and help you overcome certain predicaments with ease.