We’ve all been let down in the past. We’ve all had our heart broken, and we’ve all sobbed over romantic movies and sad songs. Yes, we have all been there at some point in our life. Getting over an ex-romantic partner is far from an easy task, but it can be done. However, what if there’s more to fight for? What if you’re determined to get her back?
Romantic breakups range from pretty straightforward to utterly complicated. In the latter case, there might be some leeway to patch things together and try and work things out. That being said, this is a delicate time for both parties involved, so trying to keep a cool head and avoiding mistakes is crucial to successfully remedy a relationship.
Today we are going to tackle a topic that most guys will find interesting. This article will try and cover all the nuances of handling the post-breakup period and will dig into the nitty and gritty of how to get a girl back.
Going Through The Period of Grief
Before we hand out all the tips on how to restore your relationship, we want to focus on you and explain why grieving is a normal part of the post-breakup period. The grieving stage is a particularly vulnerable phase where our mind tends to start panicking. Suddenly you find yourself in a situation where you don’t have the autonomy over what happens, and nobody loves that feeling, especially if you were the one who was dumped.
If not handled properly, the “fight or flight” response in your brain can lead to some desperate moves that might push your ex-partner even further away, and that’s not your goal, is it?
The main goal during this period is to acknowledge what you’re going through is perfectly normal and try and calm yourself in order to stop panicking. Try and embrace the grieving stage by yourself or seek comfort in your close friends or family. Avoid texting your ex with messages containing begging and pleading.
Another example of how to NOT handle this stage is to deny your breakup ever took place. Denial is a common tactic used by many where they act all casual and try and keep in touch with their ex-girlfriend. Nine out of ten times, this strategy does not work and actually has a negative impact on the chances of getting back together.
So what should you do?
Do whatever you need to do to regain your composure and get yourself together. Anything goes as long as it doesn’t involve spamming your ex-girlfriend’s voicemail with how much you love her and miss her every day.
How to Win Her Back
Alright, let’s say you’ve gathered yourself and you’ve dissected your entire relationship including the post-breakup period only to come to a conclusion that it’s worth fighting for. Here are some of the steps you should consider next:
1. Figure out why you broke up
Since you’ve had the time to go through your entire relationship in your head, you’ve probably figured out what lead to it crumbling down in ruins. If that isn’t the case, here’s a list of possible reasons:
- Loss of emotional connection
- Taking her for granted
- Lack of understanding
- Poor communication
- Different needs and goals
As you can see, there’s a lot of potential reasons why your girlfriend left you. If you got served with the “it’s not you, it’s me” card, throw it in the garbage, figure out what was the main cause of the breakup and take responsibility for your part in it. Once you figure this out, you’ll be able to focus on becoming the best version of yourself and try and win her back.
2. Give her some space to breathe
We’ll keep this step short as we’ve covered it mostly in the grieving stage. It’s pretty self-explanatory and requires you to refrain from any contact with your ex for at least a month. Giving her some space will allow her negative emotions towards you to fade and, more importantly, will give some room for her to miss you.
3. Start exercising
Introducing some form of exercise to your daily routine will improve your physical and mental health. Most importantly, it will allow you to process your thoughts more rationally. Going for a simple run will help you tackle anxiety and stress, both of which are common occurrences after going through a breakup. Exercising will help you get in shape and feel more confident, attractive, and sexier. Looking physically more attractive falls into the category of becoming the best version of yourself and should be a key component when making your plan on how to get back with your ex-girl.
4. Meet new people
Sure, spending time with your circle of friends will help you take your mind off of your breakup, but leaving your comfort zone and putting yourself out there is the way to go. Go out with your friends and be open to meeting new people. Approach co-workers that you previously ignored. Finally, try dating. Yes, we understand this might be hard for you if the only thing on your mind is your perfect and beautiful, but seeing what else is out there is a win-win situation. You might just meet someone with a good vibe that will take your ex off of your mind, and you’ll definitely incite some jealousy with your ex. This might sound counterproductive, but trust us, it works.
5. Establishing contact
Once you’ve taken a month to heal a bit and feel good about yourself, it’s time to ask yourself the question – do I still want her back? If the answer is “Yes,” proceed to re-establish communication. Think about what you’re going to text her, don’t make it emotional, and keep it short and simple.
Avoid looking desperate and pushy. Ideally, come up with something along the lines of, “Hey, what was the name of that fun movie we watched for Thanksgiving Day?”, or something like “Did you know that restaurant you enjoy so much just added a new item on the menu?”. The goal is to subtly remind her of a fond memory that you shared while maintaining a cheerful tone throughout the text message.
6. Building on her reply
In the scenario where you get a reply, you’ll want to continue keeping it cool while leading the conversation towards a coffee or lunch date. A chance to catch up. In the scenario that you don’t get a reply, don’t lose hope. Wait a week or so, and try again. As always, avoid desperately spamming her inbox.
7. The get-together
Once you get her out for coffee, it’s time to make your move. You’ve thought about how to get her back over and over again, but the key here is to remain calm and start from scratch. Remember that we mentioned it’s beneficial to start dating again? This is where the pay off comes. Reintroduce this new and better version of yourself start rebuilding that emotional connection that was lost. Throw in a joke here and there about past times but keep it fresh and exciting.
Maintain eye contact and ease into establishing physical contact. Gently touching her hand at the right moment or playfully poking her is the way to go. Use your sense of humor to your advantage and make her feel good being around you. Bringing up positive memories is okay, but by all means, avoid getting in the same old routine. There’s a reason why that part of your relationship ended the way it ended, and you should keep it in the past.
Did you find this guide on how to get back with your ex-girl helpful? Make sure to tell us about it. Didn’t get the outcome you were hoping for? Maybe it’s for the best. You never know what life might send your way and who’s waiting for you just around the corner so if you’re looking for fun and exciting people, we got you covered. Baeby is the number one place for finding singles with the same interests. If you’re trying to meet someone new, this is where you should start.