Breakups, especially if sudden, can be a hard thing to swallow. Regardless of who decided to end it, it’s always a stressful experience followed by a lot of emotional pain. Heck, even science claims that acknowledging that a relationship is over and that the future you imagined will never come to be is similar to dealing with addiction withdrawal.
The acute pain and heart-shattering sadness is something we all had to deal with at some point in our lives but here’s the good news – all these feelings are totally natural, and over time they will subside.
Our mind has this odd coping mechanism where it makes us think about the person we least want to think about, and every song, movie, and location reminds us of them. This is followed by feelings of hopelessness, sadness, maybe even anger. Some of you might cry your heart out for days, and that’s totally fine. It’s all part of the process of surviving a breakup.
Today we’re going to go over a few things you should do after a breakup and the mindset you should adopt in order to come out stronger than ever. Even if you’re not looking for advice, reading this article will help you realize that you’re not alone in your struggle and that other people have been there.
7 tips on how to be happy after a breakup
Accept That It Happened
We’ll start our list of break up tips from the very beginning – accepting that it happened. The only way to truly come to terms with the fact that your relationship has run its course is to accept it. Dealing with a breakup means experiencing it.
Don’t drown yourself in substances that will make you feel numb and don’t distract yourself. Drinking in excess will just make everything worse and intensify the feeling of depression. Also, avoid making any impulsive decisions that you’ll regret later. This includes everything from messaging your Ex from fake Facebook accounts to shaving your head or getting a tattoo.
Instead, embrace the feelings and emotions you’re going through, work on accepting that you can’t control anyone except yourself, and adopt a mindset that serves you rather than prolongs your grieving process.
Give Yourself Time
All these feelings and emotions you’re going through will eventually go away. The key is to understand that all you need is time and a healthy mindset. The amount of time you’ll need will depend on many factors. Sometimes the circumstances dictate the time you need to get over your past relationship.
That being said, an ugly break up might take more time, but it’s not a rule set in stone. Some people get over their ex-partners quicker than others, and that’s fine. It’s all subjective, so don’t be hard on yourself if you’re still feeling sad after six months.
The important thing to remember is to not go overboard with your grieving. Feel bad about yourself and want to cry? Go ahead. Crying is therapeutic and can help you process the breakup but don’t surround yourself with negative thoughts on purpose. You need to believe that the future is going to be okay for you.
Facilitate the Healing Process
Speaking of a better future, you want to help yourself by facilitating the healing process instead of going on a self-destructive rampage. Yes, breakups feel bad, and even modern science depicts them as a feeling of acute pain, but that doesn’t mean you want to make it last longer than it needs to be. Work with your emotions, not against them.
You might wonder how to stay strong during a breakup when the one person in this world that was perfect is no longer there for you, but you got to understand that it’s your mind playing a cheeky trick on you.
As soon as the relationship is over, we tend to idolize our ex-partners and forget all the things we didn’t love about them. In reality, we are blaming ourselves for what happened and prolonging our misery. Instead, use these feelings as an opportunity to change for the better and find a connection to something more than just a person.
Focus on Yourself
If we were to give you one piece of advice on what to do after a breakup, it would be focusing on yourself. Being strong after a break up comes from re-establishing a relationship with yourself. After spending some time in a relationship, we tend to forget what it feels like to be your own person. Do something you always wanted to do but couldn’t because you were in a relationship. Now, this doesn’t mean taking the phrase “single and ready to mingle” too far. It’s more about having all the time in this world to spend on yourself. Be selfish.
Sign up for a cooking class, learn a new language, buy yourself something nice, or even plan a trip to that one place you always wanted to visit.
Don’t Isolate Yourself
Focusing on yourself doesn’t necessarily mean doing everything on your own. The number one tip in the breakup survival 101 guide is to surround yourself with people that love you and care about you. Being all alone when you’re suffering from a broken heart will make you think about your ex-partner more than you need to.
As we mentioned before, processing your feelings is completely normal, but wallowing in self-pity is not. Instead, be alone as much as you need to but also remember that you still have your family and friends that are there for you and are ready to pick you up and support you.
Work on Your Health
When trying to figure out how to stay positive after a breakup, It might be tempting to drown yourself in a greasy bucket of unhealthy food and wash it down with a sugar-infused drink. While doing this for a day or two is completely fine, you don’t want to jeopardize your personal health because you’re going through a rough patch emotionally.
Being single is a great time to re-evaluate your goals and work on your wellbeing. Exercising will stimulate your brain to release all sorts of feel-good hormones while also taking care of those few extra pounds you’ve gained during your relationship.
Distance yourself from the Old and Open Up to the New
In some cases, people who were involved in a serious relationship but are not together anymore will try and remain friends. While this may work out for a few people, most of us will want to distance ourselves from our ex-partners. No texting, no calls, and no social media stalking. If you’re in the middle of surviving a bad breakup, cut that person out of your life completely. No exceptions.
Keeping in touch will never give you the required space to heal and will unnecessarily extend the time you need to get over your ex-partner. Once you feel like you’ve put your relationship behind you and spent some by yourself, go out and meet new people. Grab your friends and go to your favorite bar. Salsa dancing classes are a great way to reignite the fire inside you. Joining a new gym can be an opportunity to meet someone new.
Finding attractive and like-minded singles online is also an option, and we just happen to be the perfect place to try it out. Breakups are terrible, but they are not the end of the world. Join today and start your search for something new and better.