The dating culture today is widely different than it was back when your grandparents and even parents were dating. Social norms, technology, and just evolved behavior has had a significant impact on the way that we date.

Whether you’re dating around for fun or dating to find your long-term partner, you may have experienced an uncomfortable situation where the person you’re dating isn’t on the same page as you are. This can involve a variety of situations like saying the “L” word to wanting to just be friends. Well, the good news is that you are not alone, and we’re here to help shed a little light on a very common situation that can come up in the beginning stages of dating someone.

What to do when the Person You’re Seeing is Still Actively Dating Online?

So, here’s the situation — you’ve been dating someone great for a little while now and things are going smoothly. Then one of your friends tells you that they saw your fling’s profile on a dating site/app as recently active. You’re first thought might be, “if he likes me, why is he still online dating?” Or even worse, you may think that he’s cheating on you because you misinterpreted the dating relationship.

Regardless, that feeling to find out someone you’re seeing is still trying to actively date is a terrible one. Well, if you’re in that situation now, we can help you navigate, get some clarity and reach a place that you feel comfortable with because no one wants to ask, “why is my boyfriend still on online dating sites?”

How’d this Happen?

For starters, the initial shock and confusion come from the fact that you may not have talked about what you two are in terms of a relationship. If you’ve never had the exclusive talk, it can be a little naive to assume, especially in today’s dating scene.

With the prominence of online dating, options and convenience are literally at the fingertips and many feel they need to vet potential opportunities. Just because you have closed the doors on other dates and are focused only on one, doesn’t automatically mean that they have.

Next, after the initial shock has worn off and you can think clearly, the best course of action is to take a step back and evaluate the situation. There are several situations that can be in play here, and we’ll take a look at some common ones.

How’d this Happen

  • You’re Not Official and He’s Casually Dating Others

Whether it’s early in the relationship or it’s been a little while, as mentioned above, if you haven’t had the “official” or “exclusive” talk, then you can’t assume. Maybe they were waiting to see how serious you were about them, but regardless, if you want to date them exclusively, let them know.

  • Your Friends Find Their Profile — but His Dating Profile is Still Active!

The best way to address this situation is to ask them if they’re still using the app. Avoid trying to have your friend reach out as bait because that can make things messy. The case might just end up being that they haven’t thought about deleting it yet and they aren’t active.

  • Different Feelings about Online Dating

You might feel that dating online is a way to find a long-term relationship, while your partner might see it as a casual, innocent flirting boredom hobby or when they need a little self-esteem boost. Regardless of who views what, it’s important to establish how each of you feels to make sure that you’re on the same page about the situation.

  • They Refuse to Delete It

Sadly, if you really want them to delete their online profile, but they refuse to, for whatever reason, it may be time for you to reevaluate the type of person that you want to be with. If you’re official and exclusive, but they still insist on keeping it, that can cause a lot of distrust and questioning that might not be worth it to you in the end.

Whatever the details are of your specific situation, the best course of action is to always be upfront, honest, and talk about how you feel and what you want in the relationship. Life is too short to be with someone who doesn’t want to feel the same way about you. If that happens, and you find yourself back in the dating market, looking for that special someone, give Baeby a try.

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