Lust and love go hand in hand. Just like you and your partner, they grow from the same seed and develop further over time.
If you are able to nurture a relationship from the beginning, you may find that love and lust coexist. In fact, a healthy strong lust is the foundation of many lasting true loves. Consider that the first moment when you look at someone of the opposite sex. When they warm you with a blush that you can feel from head to toe it could be lust — or is it love? Over time, that feeling remains even in marriages that started 20, 30, or even 50 years ago.
What makes it true love? Most people say time is how you know that someone really loves you. However, lust can also last a lifetime deal. The concepts of lust and love are clearly different physically, and thus, it is the test of time that reveals what they really are. The quest for either is made much simpler with a greater understanding of their nature and differences.
What is The Difference Between Lust and Love?
Is it lust or love? The question sounds different when you ask it the other way. Is it love or lust? The differences are not always clear. There is a lot of gray areas, so let’s take a look at the differences between lust and love from two different perspectives.
Lust vs Love
If you are in love and wondering, “Is it really lust?” here are a few ways to know for sure if you just got things confused.
- Intense Attraction
When you lust after someone you may notice a feeling in the base of your belly pulling you towards them. That gut feeling is also accompanied by intense physical attraction. This type of attraction is indicated by blushing, butterflies in your stomach, uncontrollable smiling, throbbing, touching, and anxiousness.When two people are in love, these signs of physical pull may fade, however, in some relationships, the intense attraction never fades.
- To You They’re PerfectMost people in a relationship know better than to think that their partner is perfect. However, under the blissfully rosy color of your lusting eyes, your partner may appear better than he/she actually is. This is why “love” may seem so scary — because it’s really just lust.
If you think your partner is perfect it is a red flag that it’s just lust. Any real love is built on truth and reality. Let’s face it … nobody is perfect. If you are in love, you understand that and accept your partner with all of his/her flaws. If it’s lust, that acceptance will most likely fade along with the strength of your passion for what’s in their pants.
- You Fib
When you love someone you may say things that aren’t necessarily true. For example, if you’re really in love with someone, you may leave out details of their flaws when you talk to others. You may also embellish when talking to people about them because you are simply so in love with them.
How you make up little harmless fibs can show just how much you care about someone. Lust is not usually enough to get that strong of an emotional reaction out of anyone.
The Gray Area
There are so many crossovers between lust and love. Here are a few examples of the gray area.
- Looks Matter
It doesn’t matter which came first, lust or love. People in the throes of lust care about how they look because they want to impress the person they desire.
However, in long-term relationships, the people involved may relax into each other and throw it all out the window. This is the reason that suddenly caring about your appearance is usually a red flag that your long-term partner found a mate more compatible in the lust department.
- There Is a Connection
When you are in love with someone, the feelings are so real that even scientists can confirm that two people have a connection.In the brain, chemicals known as dopamine and oxytocin, that make you feel blissfully connected, are created.People who are in a relationship solely based on lust may also experience these changes in brain chemistry, but you would never know without a doctors analysis. In this case, love and lust look pretty much the same.
Love vs Lust
If it is just Love.
- The Other Stuff
People who are in love do things besides look at and touch each other. You see, sex isn’t the only thing going on between them. If you are in love with someone lust is just part of the package, and you may or may not be actively having sex.Regardless of how much life happens around you, that foundation of lust is still there. Digging deeper into each other, people can find that they spend more of their time doing things besides having sex and that is what intoxicates them.
Chances are if you are only exchanging pillow talk – it is lust. If you want to be around your partner 24/7 and do everything with them, it is probably love.
- Conversations Are Emotional
When you talk to someone and you want to live out a fantasy, you might say things like, “I want to run my fingers up your thighs. And it’s all I think about.” This is a foundation for a relationship based on lust. While many successful marriages are built on lust there is no reason NOT to say things like this.If your conversations are able to continue for hours and include topics that interest you emotionally — it may not be lust. When the fantasy fades and you still care how your partner feels, you may be motivated for real love.
- You Put Them First
A lustful relationship is a selfish one. People in love have a tendency to consider the feelings of their partner before their own. For that reason, you may know it’s only lust if you don’t really care about making sacrifices for the other person. If you are in love there is no question who comes first – it’s always them.It is essential to know the difference between lust and love before starting a relationship. In the beginning, things can get confusing, and you may have to ask yourself, “Is this lust or love?” Use these tips to help you keep yourself from getting swept off your feet by a new love interest and not knowing what hit you. Know how to tell the difference between love and lust with these scenarios and remember to always love yourself first.
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