Dating sites and applications have become extremely popular in the past couple of years for many reasons, mainly because they are accessible, easy to use, and more or less a gateway for people who don’t like going out but would still want to date.
However, not all of us know how to start a conversation on a dating site, and that’s arguably the most important thing in the whole equation. If you manage to impress the person on the other side with your opening approach, you’re already halfway done. On the other hand, if you aren’t as experienced, you’ll probably face rejection far more often than you’d like.
We’ve made a list of some tips and tricks you can use as online dating conversation starters if you’re struggling to come up with some original ones. The most important thing you should remember is to be as creative as you possibly can, as that was proven to be one of the most appreciated virtues in the online dating world.
How to Start a Conversation Online
Before you dive into deeper waters, it’s probably a good idea to cover some of the basics. Naturally, the first question that requires an answer is – how to start a conversation online?
As there isn’t a single answer to this question, we will, instead, go through a few steps that should end up helping you to conquer the situation and win the heart of your interlocutor.
Step #1 – Gather some info about your interlocutor
When someone’s picture catches your eye, the first order of business is to gather a bit more info about them before you open a conversation. The easiest way to get some info is to go through their other pictures and try to figure out some things about their personality based on what kind of pictures they’ve uploaded.
For example, if the majority of your potential date’s pictures are done in a professional manner, that probably means they want to be taken seriously. On the other hand, if their gallery consists of, let’s say, skydiving pictures, it’s safe to say they are an adventurous spirit. Based on this information, you can kind of formulate your approach and fine-tune it so that it, at least, causes a reaction. Once you get a reaction, you can build upon it further.
Apart from pictures, you can also focus on their profile and see what they are interested in. Always look for things you have in common because it’s much easier to keep an interesting conversation if you have similar or same interests.
Step #2 – It’s time to send a message
Now that you’ve gathered as much info as possible, it’s time to break the ice with a nice and creative message. That means no “what’s up baby?”, “how’s it goin’ beautiful?”, and please refrain from sending the “did it hurt falling from the sky” types of messages as those are quite cringe-inducing.
Instead, try to ask your potential date something about their interests (that you’ve already familiarised yourself with, in the previous step). If she has a bunch of pictures of her surfing big waves, ask her about her favorite beach or destination. The important thing to remember here is to always start with a question rather than a statement. A question is much more likely to cause engagement than a statement.
The Dos and Don’ts of Sending a Message
Even though sending a message isn’t rocket science, there are a couple of things you should embrace as well as avoid. They are as follows:
- DON’T write an essay; no one wants to read thirty paragraphs
- DON’T compliment her looks immediately, that’s what all the other guys do
- DON’T try to ask her out in the first couple of messages; she probably wants to know you a bit better before she commits to a date
- DO start your message with a creative question
- DO ask her questions that are relevant and in line with her interests
- DO use proper grammar, and proofread your messages before hitting the send button
- DO send a follow-up message if she does not respond, but don’t be pushy
Step #3 – The Follow-Up Message
You’ll more than likely stumble upon many potential dates who simply won’t answer your message, and that’s fine, there’s no need to panic. Sending a follow-up message is, more or less, the best you can do in that particular situation, so be sure to make it count.
You should wait at least 24 hours before sending a follow-up message. Once that timeframe expires, don’t be afraid to let your date know that you’re genuinely interested in communicating with them, but make sure you don’t come off as desperate.
If you still don’t get any response, it’s probably a good idea to just let it go; there are plenty more fish in the sea.
Step #4 – Asking Her Out on a Date
If you do get a response, try to expand the conversation to other subjects that might be of interest to your date. Once again, use the info you’ve gathered during Step 1. Use every message as an opportunity to open up more doors, and once you open enough of them – ask them out!
Keep in mind the fact that you need to establish a concrete communication first, before asking your date out. While there is no definitive answer on how many messages you should send before asking someone out, it’s definitely more than 5 or 10.
Online dating is an amazing opportunity for people to find their soul mates from the comfort of their homes. However, there are a couple of nuances you have to be wary of before venturing into online dating waters. Take some of our advice into consideration, and we guarantee you’ll find success!
If you’d like to know more about dating, sex, marriages, and other related subjects, feel free to read our other articles!