You join a dating site and start flirting. The text asking, “Meet IRL?” appears. What do you do? The challenges of opening up to online dating start with the first step, meeting IRL (in real life). It’s a tricky topic. Everyone has an opinion about online dating. You don’t want to ask your best friends for advice for fear of judgment. Who can you ask? The social scientists know!
Online dating etiquette: when to meet in person?
Online dating is the biggest challenge for people of all ages to navigate. The question people are asking, “When is the right time to meet in person?” even though all cultural norms tell us not to meet strangers online.
However, the biggest conundrum for people who are online dating is meeting in person. And, many people, who are online dating, wonder — when is the right time to meet in real life?
How do you transition from texting with a potential online date to dating in real life? Researchers conducted a survey to determine for those who are online dating when to meet in person because everyone wants to know the online dating etiquette regarding when to meet.
What the researchers found was that there is a specific window of opportunity that is most favorable. The window to meet is open 17 to 23 days after the initial first message.
The science of this window has to do with how human brains work when it comes to romantic interests. The 17-to-23-day window is ideal because it is a time during relationship building when people’s idealistic impressions are at their peak, and people are most open to a connection that is developing.
Another reason to consider meeting when the window is open is that you don’t want to waste time or invest is something that’s not real.
Online Dating And Catfish
Everyone has heard of the catfish; a person who pretends to be someone or something they are not. Catfish are usually intentional about deception, and they thrive on convincing people they are in a relationship but it is not real.
To avoid the catfish it’s important to remember that messaging is how you find out facts about people, and it should never cause you to develop feelings for someone you have not met. Video messaging is opening the doors to help combat the catfish problem. However, the truth is that you have little to fear.
Statistically, many people successfully date online and rarely are victimized. It is important to keep your guard up and trust your instincts. Follow your gut feeling about someone new.
The truth is that you’ll date a number of people before you find “the one,” and those dates are important to your development as a person. Meeting in person is the important first step to establishing a relationship; messaging is only a door opening to find information.
When it comes to online dating when to meet in person, the truth is the sooner the better because you are talking about your personal thoughts and feelings. When we message people we are sharing our thoughts and feelings without speaking them out loud. Messaging is a great way to find out if you have something in common, that will lead to quality conversations and a potential connection.
If you’ve messaged with someone and are online dating, the goal is to meet. Sometimes you may hesitate, and that’s a good indication that you have a choice to make. Either you don’t think this person is going to be a good connection for you to make and you should end the relationship, or you are interested but nervous. Being nervous is natural. Don’t let your nerves shake your confidence.
Confidence Is Key When Online Dating
Confidence is key when online dating. You need to have self-confidence because you want to meet in person. Meeting in real life determines if the sparks from text communications will lead to chemistry.
Meeting someone after a few weeks of messaging is the best time to determine if there is chemistry or just common interests that might lead to a quality friendship.
Self-confidence and an open mind are as important as following your instincts.
Follow Your Instincts – The Gut Knows More
Everyone has an inner voice — the gut instinct — that lets us know if something is right or wrong. Always follow your instincts and remember, your gut knows more than your brain; trust your first gut instincts in every situation.
If you think you should wait to meet someone trust that gut instinct. How long is too long? Some people think two weeks is too fast but how long is too long to wait to meet a potential love interest?
Researchers, backed up by science, say that at six weeks you’ve waited too long. You already have taken time to get all your questions answered, experienced the initial anticipation, and you’ve lost the window of opportunity to take a spark of interest to the next level of romantic adventures. Communication is the key to getting your foot in the door and opening up love opportunities.
Skype, Facetime, or Duo
Use apps like Skype, Facetime, or Duo, and get to know your potential date with a little bit of face to face communication, even though it’s not in person. Using face to face apps lets you take things past text messages and see if you think meeting in person is a good idea.
Sometimes, the hesitation can be defeated with a simple video call. Let the video call help your gut instincts determine if this is a date you want to go on, or if it’s best to say, goodbye.
Think of every date as an important new connection. They may be a new friend, client, or your future spouse. They could be anyone and the risk of danger is lowered through communication and good instincts.
On Baeby, you’ll find locals to date, who will want to meet in areas you know and are familiar with your town. Consider every date a potential lifelong friend. Take steps to turn the sparks into romance, and meet in the next two to four weeks.