The stigma that surrounded online dating is a thing of the past; now, more than 40 million Americans use online dating. It has become a normal platform for singles to explore, match, and communicate with people from their computers or phones. While the ultimate purpose is to meet and date in-person, there is still one aspect of online dating that makes some users uneasy and that is that people can pretend to be anyone they want to be online.
Surveys of online daters revealed that “meeting a serial killer or a secretly fat person” were the biggest concerns, and over 50% of users lie on their profiles (men lie about jobs and women lie about age and weight). This high percentage can make anyone skeptical of online dating but not enough to keep people from seeking love online.
The good news is that there are some great tips available to help individuals, who might be a bit larger than they would like, find a chance at love online, without adding to the fears of lying. Sure, much of the decision for online daters rely on physical attractiveness to determine if they will click yes or swipe to match, but online dating for overweight individuals doesn’t have to be a difficult process at all, and these tips can help!
6 Online Dating Tips for Overweight
Embracing the Reality
Online dating is very similar to online shopping; daters make decisions to pursue a potential conversation based on a few pictures and a brief biography of a person. This can be extremely intimidating for those individuals who are overweight. You may receive less attention or receive attention solely for your weight. It can be disheartening and it can require some strong self-esteem to survive online dating, but for those who do, it’s worth it.
Embracing who you are and being true is the way that many overweight daters find success and love while dating online. Understanding that some people will ignore you and some will have a weight fetish is part of the online dating scene, but know that there are 40+ million people out there looking online — you’ll find a chance!
Photos Are Key
As mentioned above, so many decisions are made within a few seconds of looking at pictures — it is important to use the best ones. No shocker there, right? However, when we say best ones, we mean ones that showcase who you are, not just what you think the others want to see. This is important because the amount of long-term success will be determined by the honesty in the pictures.
There are two differing opinions on how to go about choosing the pictures to use:
- Downplay – don’t hide it entirely, but using pictures to downplay a bit can help get more attention, and then win them over with your personality.
These can include Instagram selfies (with filters) and some clever angles on full-body pictures to give an idea but not instantly put people off. If done properly, downplaying can be beneficial, but too much hiding and future dates might not go so well.
- Honesty – flaunt what you got. Be honest up front and let potential daters know exactly who they’re talking to. Include full-body pictures without the clever angles or boob shots.
Selfies are still great to include but get cautious of the filters used. You may receive less attention with this approach, but it will be of much higher quality and there will be no questions of, “do they like overweight guys/girls?”
Read into the Conversation
It can be very easy to tell who is interested in a sexual encounter vs. those who are seeking something deeper. When your weight comes into play, most of the time messages like, “I’m into bigger women” or “Large men turn me on!” right off the start are a great indication that they’re just looking for something sexual. If that’s what you’re looking for, then great! If not, you know that you aren’t going to waste any more time on it.
Also, many overweight online daters suggest mentioning or hinting at the weight aspect early in the conversation can be beneficial. This puts it out on the table and can eliminate any uncertainty.
It can be easy to settle for someone that wants you, but you will only truly be happy if you want them as well. Being overweight doesn’t mean you can’t find happiness in who you date. There are millions of singles out there, and it might just take a bit of time to find the right one.
Now, that doesn’t mean you should turn down potential dates because you might not think they’re “the one” from some chatting and pictures, just don’t be willing to settle for the first person that shows interest.
Highlight what You Bring to a Relationship
It is important to acknowledge your insecurities and learn to accept them, but it is equally, if not more, important to realize just how great you are. Focus on what you can offer and your strengths that make you special. By doing this, your confidence will come across in your profile, your conversation, and on your dates.
Sure, you may not be slim or fit as you would like, not many people are, but if know you are funny, adventurous, a great cook or extremely thoughtful, highlight it and make sure that is known to all.
Love Yourself and Have Fun!
This is perhaps the best advice out there for anyone, including those who are overweight and ready for dating. Being able to love yourself for who you are is essential before you can truly find happiness in being with someone else.
Constant insecurity or low self-esteem, especially about your body, can be detrimental to a potential relationship. Dating should be fun and exciting and not about hiding or worry!
Overweight online dating can cause many emotions but, hopefully, these tips will help you find a bit more confidence and boost your security in who you are, to go out there and find someone special! If you’re looking for a place to start your online dating, check out Baeby.