The sound of a text goes off, “Hi cutie! Can we meet? Want to get dinner with me this week?”

“Sure! I’d love to meet you!”


Dating is not quite what it was back when your parents were just getting to know each other. Nowadays, there are varying degrees of “dating” and social norms of acceptable behavior. You probably have heard the old rule of, “no sex until the 3rd date.” While this may just be a thing of the past and everyone has different rules for sex, what about a kiss on the first date?

The age of digital dating has put so much pressure on us to act fast and bold because people have so many options to choose from at their fingertips. Sometimes we may feel that if we’re not acting or doing things exactly how the other person may want, we’ve already lost out on our chance. However, this unnecessary pressure we put on ourselves to conform to what we think everyone wants can put us in some tricky situations.  

Kissing on the first date: is it a good idea?

Sure, we’re just talking about a kiss or two on the first date for this article, but depending on the person, is a kiss really just a kiss? The first date is one of the most important moments when dating someone because whether you both feel that chemistry and potential determines will succeeding dates follow the first one.

Before we get into some of the arguments for and against kissing on the first date, I think a lot of these arguments should be reasoned with on a case by case basis.

There’s a big difference between meeting up with someone the first day that you met versus talking to them for a week or more. Then you must take into account what the intentions are (hopefully each of you is clear upfront) — whether it’s just for fun or are you looking for something a little more serious.

Regardless, you will probably find yourself thinking, “Should you kiss on the first date?” either before or during that first encounter.

Kissing on the first date

Pros for a kiss on the first date

  • It leaves no doubt about how the date went — there is nothing worse than the time after a first date where you find yourself replaying the whole night in your head, trying to figure out if they liked you and want to see you again. A kiss can seal the deal and absolve all uncertainty about how things went.
  • See if there’s chemistry there — if you don’t feel that spark that gives you butterflies, then, what’s the point of continuing? A kiss is the first step of the physical aspect of a relationship, so why not get it out of the way early on?
  • Could lead to more (if you both want) — if you’re the type that goes with the flow and is up for anything, a kiss at the end of the date could lead to even more physicalness.

Cons for that first date kiss

  • You may not know what their intentions are, whether its just something casual or serious. You probably won’t know who they have been kissing before and the first date is too early to tell their level of interest in you.
  • Sending the wrong first impression may turn some people off. Kissing on the first date may come off as easy or looking for something too physical early on. It may be best to wait and get a little better understanding of what you and your date are looking for.
  • Leading them on might be a worry of yours before you know if you truly like them. Kissing on the first date can be a strong indicator of how they think you feel, but you might not end up liking them once you get to know them a little better.

In the end, it truly is up to how you feel and what you’re looking for. The best advice is to go with your gut instead of making concrete rules to follow. Every situation, date, and person are different, so just trust your instincts and enjoy dating for the thrill of uncertainty.

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