The idea of taking a break in a relationship is often brought up when couples are experiencing a rough patch and just can’t seem to stop arguing. Usually, it’s one of the parties involved that proposes a break until they can figure out if the relationship is worth saving and fighting for.
While taking a break doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed, it’s definitely considered a red flag and should be handled with caution. That being said, sometimes giving each other space can’t do wonders for a relationship and can even rekindle some of the lost romance. Today we’re going to discuss when is the right moment to take a break and what does it include.
What Does Taking a Break Mean
Taking a break is essentially giving each other some time to spend apart, reflect on the relationship, and try to resolve issues from a distance. While this might sound counter-intuitive, it can work out for some individuals. There are several reasons why you need a break from your partner instead of going for a full-on breakup. Maybe you’re arguing all the time over certain topics.
Time spent apart will allow you to try and understand their perspective. Perhaps you just haven’t been feeling good lately, and you want some time on your own to figure out if your partner is the reason for your bad mood. There’s always the option that you’re having doubts about committing to a long-term relationship.
Regardless of what the motive is, it’s imperative that both partners vocally express their reasons. You should also talk about what the break is going to look like, what do you expect to achieve, and how long will it last. Always have this conversation to avoid situations that will hurt your relationship more than it will help it.
How Long Should a Relationship Break Be
While this is open to debate, most relationship experts agree that three months is a happy medium. Anything more than three months will more than likely result in a breakup. That being said, a shorter amount of time might not be enough to mend the emotional wounds and overcome the obstacles that made you take the break in the first place.
The ideal amount of time will also depend on how long has your relationship lasted up to the point of taking a break. The one thing to remember here is that you want to set a reasonable time frame instead of leaving it undefined. This is especially important if it’s a non-mutual request to put your relationship on pause.
Establish Some Ground Rules
You need to have a conversation regarding some rules while you’re on a break. You’ll want to be very clear when setting boundaries and discussing what kind of activities are acceptable. Define if you’re going to remain in contact or not during the break period. Make sure to be perfectly clear about whether you’re going to be seeing other people while you’re separated.
The latter is especially important, and you both need to be on the same page before hitting the break button. Basically, set some ground rules that both of you should follow. These rules are necessary to avoid doing stuff that is going to hurt your relationship in the long-term; that is, if you decide to get back together.
Okay, now that we have covered that, let’s talk about when does it make sense to go on a break?
Take a break if you’re concerned about the constant arguing
If you and your partner are always going back and forth over the same topic, maybe a little time-out might be just what you both need in order to blow off some steam. Separation can be very healing in cases where both parties involved have a quick temper and are easily aggravated. Set a time period and use that time apart to sort things out in your head. Also, try and think about the reasoning behind your partner’s point of view.
Take a break if you are having doubts about committing to a long-term relationship
It’s not uncommon for one of the partners to insist on taking the relationship to a new level, like moving in together or proposing marriage. It’s also uncommon that the response is not quite what you would expect. Having a fear of serious commitments is nothing out of the ordinary, but it something that needs to be talked about. Likewise, it’s something that is best handled alone, so a relationship break is inevitable.
Time spent apart will help you realize how important your partner is to you, and do you want to remain in a serious relationship. On the other hand, it might also help you avoid making a mistake that would ruin both your and your partner’s lives.
Don’t take a break if you’re just looking to have sex with someone else
A break shouldn’t be an excuse to sleep with someone else. If that’s the case, you should think about what your motivations are and how will it affect your partner. To make things clear, the both of you agreeing that it’s okay to see other people during your break is not the same as insisting on a break just so you have a sexual adventure. In that case, it’s better to be honest and just end the relationship.
Don’t take a break if you’re just postponing a breakup
If you’re certain there’s no way to overcome your differences, don’t use a break to postpone the inevitable. While giving each other space might be a legitimate way to a stronger and healthier relationship for some, others often misuse the idea of taking a break from a relationship just to avoid facing the immediate negative response of telling their partner how they genuinely feel. Look at it this way, the sooner it’s over, the sooner you’ll both be back on your feet looking for that special someone.
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