One of the worst aspects of starting to date, for most people, is that first date. Not because they don’t want to see the person, but the first date makes people anxious and nervous about things like what to talk about, where to go, what to do, and how to end it.
One aspect of the first date, well after the first date, that often gives people some trouble with handling it is how and when to reach out after the successful date. The pressure to keep the momentum rolling from a great date can seem overwhelming, and you don’t want to come off as desperate or nonchalant, so finding the right response in a timely fashion can be key to getting that second date.
But now, with these tips and suggestions, there is no need to sweat after the first date is over. We’re here to help you figure out what to text after the first date and when to hit send. Also, some of the hard work has been done for you (by us) by providing a few texts after the first date examples that you can use or modify how you see fit. You’re welcome.
Later that night or the next day?
When to text after the first date has been a topic of debate since the dawn of mankind (not really, but it is a common question), and it depends on the situation. If you two have been communicating throughout the day, without much downtime, then it seems to be appropriate. If there hasn’t been much digital communication prior to the first date, then maybe wait.
However, one way to solve this dilemma is to make sure she got home safely. This is a fool-proof plan because it gives you a legitimately, chivalrous reason to text her that she will 99.99% of the time appreciate. Most often, it is encouraged to let them know right away that you had a great time on that first date. Leaving things up in the air too long or having your date guess what you’re feeling can only lead to bad things.
- “Let me know when you make it home safely!”
- “I hope you made it home safely, have a great rest of your night!”
Bring up Specific Details
If you truly want to let your date know how you feel about the first date, then bring up a specific detail from the date. Things like how great the meal was, a story he/she told, a laugh you shared or what they wore. These may not seem like a big deal, but details matter, and show that you really paid attention and are genuine. Recalling a happy moment during the date helps them return to the frame of mind when she was having a good time too.
- “That story you told me about ____ was too funny.”
- “I can’t believe you’ve never had/been to/seen _____. That needs to change ASAP.”
Stimulate Their Ego
Sending over a compliment is never a bad choice. Don’t be afraid to let them know what you liked about them. You can try sending something that compliments their appearance or personality. Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves and letting your date know what you liked can extinguish any unclear thoughts about how you feel.
- “I really am a sucker for someone with a great smile and who can keep me on my toes!”
- “I haven’t laughed like that in a long time, can’t wait to see you again!”
- “I can’t believe we were there for __ hours, it definitely wasn’t long enough!”
Avoid Sexting Right After the First Date
Unless you had sex with them on the first date, avoid turning the conversation sexual. If you physically haven’t crossed that boundary yet, it is risky. If your date makes the first move and turns things sexual, then you can follow their lead but be reserved a bit. Let them know that you want to spend more time in person. Unless you’re in the market for just a sexting pal, keep the focus on hanging out in person.
Lock up a Second Date
Don’t be scared or shy to bring up seeing them again. It can be easy to tell if your date enjoyed themselves because, nowadays, there’s no reason to fake it. There are countless options for people in the digital dating marketplace and wasting time on dates that aren’t leading anywhere is a thing of the past. If you had a great time, then tell them!
Trying to play it cool or downplaying how you feel can only hinder your chances in such a competitive dating scene. If you want to see them again, let them know because people aren’t mind-readers. You don’t need to plan the second date as soon as you get home from the first one but let them know you want to see them again.
- “I had a wonderful time tonight and definitely want to see you again!”
- “Are you free ____(a day in the future)? Would you like to ____ with me?”
- “Unless I’m completely crazy, I think we both can agree that this needs to happen again.”
Worst Case Scenario
I things didn’t go well, hopefully not the case, and you really don’t see any point in meeting again, it’s okay to tell them. Instead of leading them on or ghosting them, be upfront and honest. Sure, it sucks to hear that someone doesn’t want to see you again for whatever reason (or no reason), but it beats wasting time. There is plenty of fish in the sea!
- “I had a nice time with you last night, but to be honest, I don’t feel a romantic connection. If we cross paths again, I hope we can be friends.”
- “Last night was fun but I don’t think there is a need to see each other again. I hope everything works out for you.”
There is nothing wrong with being upfront and honest, even right after the first date. To help you get to that first stage with that special someone, Baeby is here. The digital dating scene has changed how we find potential matches, and all you have to do to get started with Baeby is to fill out your free online profile!