With seemingly endless options, online dating is met with excitement and enthusiasm as eligible singles navigate the digital landscape in search of love and/or romantic fun. With more than 40 million users in the US, online dating has an incredible population and someone to find for all.
While the numbers may be exhilarating, the reality is that some people experience online dating fatigue that manifests itself in frustrations, annoyances, and disappointments. The true nature of dating, in general, can be a tumultuous ride of highs and lows, but, take solace in the fact that you are not alone. Online dating is exhausting, at times, and with these tips, you can help manage the less-than-ideal emotions that come along with the journey.
Online Dating Fatigue Signs
Carpel tunnel can be a concern from swiping and clicking too much, but the real exhausting comes from the mental toll that online dating can have on an individual.
Whether it’s reading too far into every piece of communication from a potential date or being led on a trail of “breadcrumbing,” recognizing that you have digital dating fatigue is the first important step. Here are some common signs that you might be burnt out from the digital dating scene:
All Work and No Play
There is no sense of fun or excitement when you log into your dating accounts anymore, and it feels like a daily task or burden. Dating should not be approached with a sense that you must do it. Dating is not a job and you shouldn’t treat it as such. If you reach this point, it’s time to evaluate your situation and maybe take another approach.
You treat matching with someone like winning a game, which is okay. But, if you don’t chat or pursue after matching, then you need to take a step back. If there is no intention of talking or meeting behind any matches you find, then, what’s the point?
You Think You Should Be Dating
You may be at the age where all your friends are starting to partner up or are getting married and you feel left out or behind in the timeline of life. Feeling like you need to date because you’re afraid of missing out on one thing or another is not enough of a reason to be looking.
Sure, some of us might be intrigued by a challenge or the “chase,” but making sure we aren’t just pursuing the ones that aren’t interested is important. If you constantly find yourself interested in dead-end connections, you will tire of online dating quickly. Chase those who want to be chased and date the ones who are interested in you.
Lack of Excitement for Actual Dates
We can all agree that the point of online dating is actually to meet people in real life. If you’ve reached the point where you dread the actual act of date, either because of countless fruitless attempts or you’ve lost hope in finding someone, you are probably fatigued.
You Ghost on a Regular Basis
If you find yourself ghosting matches as quickly as you matched with them, that can wear on you. While ghosting is not the best practice, you don’t need to keep engaged with every person you match with, but if you’re letting each and every potential match fizzle out before anything can develop, take a step back.
How to Deal With Online Dating Fatigue
If you find yourself struggling to find a good reason or purpose for your online dating, take a look at some of these tips and approaches that may help you get your feet back under you!
Use online dating as a method to help yourself grow
Are there qualities or characteristics that you wish you had more of? Well, using online dating as a training ground for yourself to develop and showcase more of the desirable traits that you want can be a great way to reinvigorate your excitement.
Do you wish you were more adventurous or that you were able to share embarrassing stories? Do you want to add more sexiness to your wardrobe or reinvent your personal style? All these changes, and many more, are possible with online dating. Start by showcasing exactly who you are and what you want others to know, and then put it into practice on your dates, even if you’re not 100% into the person.
Maybe what you want to change is your dating style
That can be done, too! Here are some things to think about before your next interaction and see if there’s anything you want to change up to find that perfect dating style to match who you are.
- Do I ask too many questions?
- Listen more?
- Increase eye contact?
- How honest and direct?
- Do I share too much personal information too soon?
- What new behaviors do I want to try?
- Body language?
The biggest cause for fatigue is from unrealistic expectations that each person is “the one.” For all the hopeless romantics out there, this can be very tough to deal with because it’s in our nature to approach each match with that attitude.
However, if you can keep your feet on the ground, at least until after the first real date, you may find yourself in a better mental state when those dates just don’t work out. Being continually let down or disappointed isn’t easy to handle, but if your expectations are a little more grounded prior, it can definitely help your mental state.
While dating sites and apps have made the way we find potential matches much easier, it has increased the amount of indifferent and negative feelings towards dating in general. However, if you acknowledge your behavior and use each opportunity to help take a step in the right direction, you can harness every benefit of online dating.
Baeby is here to help singles, just like you, find connections with people you want to meet! Get serious and find the fun in dating again with Baeby!